To Circumcise or Not?

I have been thinking a lot about circumcision since we found out that Graham was a boy.

It is quite the hot debate in some circles--mostly in the natural living community. I have learned a lot from the natural living community and have been influenced in my own thinking on several things, circumcision being one of them.

To put it plainly, I did not want to get Graham circumcised. Yes, both Isaac and Ewan are circumcised. When it came to deciding the fate of Ewan's foreskin it felt like a simple decision. Sure, let's do it. We said all the typical things that you hear most people in favor of circs say...."We want him to look like his daddy, most people are, it is cleaner...".

When Isaac came along I felt more hesitant about getting the circumcision done. Partially because Ewan had some minor problems with his circumcision. His skin reattached itself and had to be pulled apart which caused him some pain and discomfort. I was worried that the same thing might happen to Isaac and I didn't want him to have the same issues. I was starting to feel hesitant about the whole procedure.

When we found out we were having another boy I felt very strongly this time that I did not want to get him circumcised. It just isn't medically necessary and they cause a lot of pain and discomfort to the baby. Sure, they are small and won't remember it but I think there are some benefits of the foreskin staying attached. Otherwise why would God have put it there in the first place? It seems unlikely to me that He put the foreskin as an advanced plan to set the Hebrews apart later on down the line when he told them to get circumcised. I can't say for sure, but it seems unlikely to me.

There are some things that can go wrong with circumcision. Too much can be cut off, scar tissue, major bleeding to name a few.

I wasn't buying all the "typical" stuff this time. So my son's penis won't look like his daddy's. No two look alike anyway. You learn how to keep an uncirc'ed penis clean. You teach your child how to do the same. It isn't true that most boys ARE circ'ed anymore. There are supposed to be benefits later on in intimacy (wink, wink) with an attached foreskin.

Here is a website that lists some more information about why NOT to circumcise. You can read more if you are interested.

Up until a few weeks before Graham was born Jon and I could not come to a decision about whether or not to circumcise the baby. Jon was for it and I against it. Jon felt strongly about all the previous mentioned reasons FOR circumcision and I felt strongly that it is not medically necessary. There isn't really a way to compromise and meet in the middle when it comes to circumcision....you can't take half the foreskin, ya know? Both of us thought we could convince the other but neither of us were budging.

What to do? What to do?

We went out for coffee after attending Ewan's preschool orientation and had a chat about it. Both of us were frustrated and feeling disappointed that the other person would not give in. That is when it happened. The Holy Spirit. As we were talking I heard the unmistakable whisper of the Lord speaking to my heart...."You need to honor your husband and let him do this." What? "Honor your husband."

I cried. I had to die to myself and my strong opinions so that my husband would feel honored and loved. We sat on it for 24 hours to make sure it was from God. I still had my fears that something would go wrong with the circ and Jon had his fears that IF something did go wrong I would be mad at him. I told him that it would be on God because I was doing what HE wanted--I was ultimately submitting my will to Gods so I wouldn't have any "right" to be mad at Jon.

We went to get the circumcision and lo and behold, something went wrong. The contraption the pediatrician used was a plastic bell cap device. Due to the swelling and placement of the device it covered Graham's pee-hole (technical term=meatis (me-ate-is)) and he could not pee for 8 to 9 hours. He woke up from a nap screaming and when I went to change his diaper it was totally dry. It had been several hours since the circ. It was the kind of cry that you KNEW something was really wrong. We called the pediatrician and went back to the office. He checked the circ, couldn't find the meatis and said that in the 20 years he had been doing circs that had never happened. He sent us to Children's Hospital downtown so a pediatric urologist could take a look.
Both Jon and I were getting sick with fever so this was not adding to a restful recovery from the cold. We went downtown and waited in the ER while we were worried that Graham's bladder would burst and it would kill him. (Totally dramatic, I know).

On the way to the ER we prayed--for Graham, our marriage, our sanity.

THANKFULLY, when we finally got to see the urologist Graham peed on him. Way to go, son! The urologist used a q-tip to move things around and I guess the pee hole was somehow dislodged. We were all very relieved since the worst case scenario would have been to have Graham go under general anesthesia in an OR to have the device removed. Not exactly what you want for your week old baby.

As all this was happening I was telling God that I was worried about my baby but trying to trust that HE was taking care of it all.

In the end everything worked out fine. Graham's penis is fine and so is our marriage.

It did feel a little ironic that the thing I feared most would happen did happen. Well, it wasn't the WORST thing that could happen with a circumcision but something did go wrong. It only confirmed my opinion that getting a circumcision is a risk that should not be taken lightly and that it truly isn't medically necessary and is more often a cosmetic choice.

If we have another baby and it is a boy, I suspect that we will be having a similar conversation. Perhaps we will have a girl and won't have to go down that road.....

That is why I am against circumcision but did it anyway.