Monday, July 03, 2006

Praise the Lord! We had a successful nap today! No getting out of bed! I was so excited for Ewan's success. He got his special milk drink and got to pick out a toy that had been taken away. Tonight at bedtime I thought we were doing good but then he melted at the end and I wasn't sure if he would get out of bed or not. He did but he didn't open his door. Do I count that as success or not?

On a more happy note, I led a Bible study last night and I haven't actually led in a long time. I know I am better at mentoring and discipling so I get nervous about leading a group study. The original plan was to watch Adam and Eve on DVD (an original play by Brie Walker and David Taylor) and then discuss it afterward. Unfortunately the DVD malfunctioned on the player we had and we had to scrap the plan. Yikes! I had a few questions prepared in response to the movie but not any planned Bible study on Genesis 3. We read Genesis 3 before attempting to watch the play so we would be familiar with the context of the play. Since I was covering for Jon we asked Father Clint to be there with me so we would have a guy and girl at the study. Somehow it seems appropriate when you are talking about male and female relationships and how Adam and Eve's sin impacted the world to have a guy and girl lead the discussion. I facilitated the discussion but I really didn't do much at all. The students had lots of good questions and responses to the passage. Clint was super helpful in answering some of the more theological points that came up that I am not as familiar with. He had some great insights to contribute and I think if he had not have been there it would have felt flat.

I think I have forgotten what it feels like to be stretched in ministry. I have more often taken on the role as a supporter to Jon now more than leading anything. My insecurity gets the best of me and I get overwhelmed by what others might think of me so I choose to stay out of the limelight and center of attention. It is a miracle that I have moved forward to teach childbirth classes and have chosen to turn from my fear. I am more familiar with the birth world than I am with my knowledge of theology (How sad is that)! God has used our move to North Texas to free me from the things that I am afraid of. I have welcomed this new season--mostly anyway.

Now here is a picture of Isaac--he hasn't a care in the world about what anyone thinks of him. He just enjoys what comes. In my deepest of hearts I long for that freedom to look and act goofy and not care an ounce what anyone thinks of me!

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